The strongest tell-tale sign that a man has begun to “chop and clean mouth” is not suspicious phone calls or unexplained absences, but his neglect of the emotional and physical needs of the woman he has at home.
Nobody is more emotionally insensitive to their spouse than a man who has begun to have an affair. And nobody is unhappier than the wives of such men because there is a certain attitudinal recklessness on the part of these men that can make a woman question her worth.
A woman who shared her marital experiences with me recently talked about how her husband would often look away and harshly say, “Go and wear your clothes,” whenever she was horny and tried to initiate intimacy, because the husband would not even touch her on his own.
Then came the day he was in the bathroom and she could not help herself, so she took off her clothes and joined him there. She said he chased her away, came back to the bedroom, wore his clothes and left as if nothing had happened.
When he died, she did not look back before becoming involved with another man.
She explained that whatever compliments she has received about her “sexy body” came from the man she is currently involved with; her late husband never gave her such compliments.
The woman also declared that if he came back to life, she would ask him to find another woman because she is not giving up what she has at the moment for him.
Is it lost on men that sexiness exists in every woman? It is just that some women need encouragement to awaken theirs. And the person who can do it effortlessly for her is the man in her life.
The worst marital nightmare that can befall a woman is to have a cheating husband who is also unkind. Such men make a good woman feel terrible about herself.
This next story is that of a woman who is being accused of leaving home and abandoning her children for another man. But her version of the story is different.
According to her, the husband stopped “touching” her after she had their last baby, who is now over four years old. It did not take her long to find out about his activities with “hook-up girls” on social media.
She was advised to start dressing sexily to make him jealous. She was also assured that it would make him begin to desire her.
She did that for some time, but it made no difference in their marriage, and she became mentally exhausted.
It was at a get-together in town that she ran into a man she described as “an old friend” and, in no time, they hit it off. She said that his presence in her life has revived a lot in her, and she is not willing to give up the experience.
What she did not realise was that the husband had started trailing her movements and, in no time, he caught her red-handed and threw her out of his house.
She promptly rented her own apartment and has since been living her “single life”.
Thankfully, she has a business that sustains her.
An acquaintance abroad also talked about her encounter with the husband from whom she was recently divorced.
According to her, on the day she went to move her things out of their house, she went with a male colleague who offered to use his truck to help her.
At a point, her ex-husband came into the room where she was packing her things, and all he kept telling her was:
“Obviously, you have a lover now.”
“Obviously, you have moved on.”
All of which she greeted with silence.
Men are funny!
Obviously, she is not a drawing on the wall with no blood running through her veins.
That is a woman he abandoned for a young Caribbean lady.
Why does it unsettle men when their women become involved with another man?
Do they really believe that once a woman is called a “wife”, everything about her is closed off to other men?
I am here to inform men that it is far from the truth. Once the centre can no longer hold, you will see the other side of that woman with other men.
The problem is that once that version of her is unleashed, it is not likely that you will have her back again.
It should not be your careless attitude that pushes a loyal wife into the arms of another man. No woman is incapable of enjoying what another man can offer her. And God help you if he is better than you.